Sunday, April 25, 2010

Owned

One little girl asked me a question,

"Lu jalan-jalan, tiba-tiba nampak satu RM10 satu RM5 atas jalan mana satu lu ambik?"

I, with a great assurance that I had the right answer and with a mere assumption that it was only a young girl who was not even eligible to have a roller-coaster ride did not have the power to prove me wrong, simply replied,

"RM10."

And she said,

"Lu bodoh! Lu angkat dua dua la!!"

Not only she did prove me wrong, but I definitely had the dumbest look on my face. That kid totally owned me.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

How?

Life after death is something that we aren't privileged enough to foresee. But it's too baffling and makes us want to know more, but surely not to experience it ourselves anytime soon. Nope, not for me.

How would it be if Jack The Ripper and Adolf Hitler were next door neighbors in hell? On a fiery (what else do you expect in hell?) hot morning, Hitler in his pyjamas and robe wearing slippers with a cup of coffee in his hand while collecting a newspaper with the other hand, catching up a conversation with Jack.

Jack: My word! But you look so horribly thin, Ad. What have you gotten yourself into?
Hitler: I live in hell, Jack. What did you expect? I spent a sizable portion of my life planning to torture and dispose my victims as much as I could from my country. Whereas you, my friend, we all know what you did to earn yourself a ticket to this place.
Jack: *blushing* Well, would you say I did it in the most fashionable way?


In heaven......


Jimi Hendrix: Hey, man! How's it going, Mike?
Michael Jackson: Good
Jimi: Uhm...... Sorry, man. I didn't catch that.
Michael: I said I'm good.
Jimi: Ay, man. Your voice........ You know it yourself that it's not favorable when you talk.
Michael: I said I'm good, Jimi.
Jimi: Great. By the way, meet my bassist. Cliff Burton.
Michael: *gasps and whispers to Jimi* He's white!
Jimi: Mike, really. Place your hand on your heart and repeat what you said. Then, look at yourself in the mirror.


Or maybe all four of my grandparents chatting up.....


Paternal Grandma: Your daughter stole my son!
Maternal Grandma: *rolling eyes* Here we go again. Look, they're perfectly fine now and please, there's no merit to your belief that my daughter stole your son.
Paternal Grandma: Well, she just did, didn't she? My son was innocent enough to be caught with your daughter's bait.
Maternal Grandma: That's it! Bait?! Wasn't it your son who came to my house and confessed his desperation to marry my daughter? Wasn't it your son who came to my house to check on my daughter every now and then? Wasn't it your son who said he wouldn't have the will to live without my daughter?
Paternal Grandma: My son is a noble man and was raised in a household where decency was the prime rule and of its grandest degree. He would most certainly not get himself engaged in such self-degrading acts.
Maternal grandma: Application of the grandest degree of decency in your household? Your household? Tell me, how in the name of the most glorious baboon's.........
Paternal Grandfather: Lay it off you two! It's been over a couple of decades and you still can't get over it! They're happy, healthy and blessed with three extraordinary kids. Particularly, the girl. Be happy with it.




How would the afterlife world be......? Hmmmmm.....

Sunday, April 4, 2010

When Sundram Met Mahliga.....

Move over Brangelina, make room for Mr. and Mrs. Sundram.

After 28 years together and 3 kids (half of the number of Brangelina kids, yes), they're still going strong!!

Happy 28th Anniversary, Mom & Dad!!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Pride

"They might have played us off the park for an hour but we taught them a lesson last night - football is a game of 90 minutes, not 60.

I love the lads."

-Arseblog-


And I do too.